THE RONALD REAGON DINNER THEATER AND CREMATORIUM.
"The most terrifying words in the English Language are" Im from the
government and im here to help".



FROM "SUNNY CALIFORNIA " THE LAND OF FRUIT AND NUTS.
Biker gangs attack civilians for wearing red tee shirts.
Redwood City, California.

Biker Gang members threaten civilians due to wearing red tee shirts
(01-02) 10:22 PST Redwood City, CA (AP) --
Two Half Moon Bay men will be spending some time in jail after
admitting to threatening two electricians over the color of their
shirts.
Jesus Delgado and Cesar Beccera entered no contest pleas Wednesday to
misdemeanor charges over an incident in Half Moon Bay in December.
Prosecutors say the 18-year-old Delgado and the 20-year-old Beccera
are known Motorcycle gang members.
They were accused of threatening the electricians because the red
company shirts they wore while working at a McDonald's restaurant
resembled the colors of a rival gang.

As part of a plea deal with prosecutors, Delgado will serve no more
than 20 days
in jail.Because Beccera has a previous record, he is facing up to six
months in jail.
Both men will also be on probation for up to two years.



COMEMORATIVE TAGS NOW AVAILABLE
BLUE RIDGE PARKWAY, A BIKER RIDE INTERNATIONALY RECOGNIZED.
NORTH CAROLINA
Motorcycle tags available. For Blue Ridge Parkway
Touring. ;


The Blue Ridge Parkway foundation has signed up about 300 bikers
needed to start the new tag program, under legislastion passed last
year by Rep.Phil Haire, of Sylva. and Sen. Joe Sam Queen of
Waynesville.
The Blue Ridge Parkway is a destination they love to ride on. The
State will recive the money but we look at all the good they do to
promote and maintain this fantastic Internationaly recognized
motorcycle ride.

The cost adds $30 on top of the regular license fee of $18 . The Blue
Ridge Foundation would get $20 of it for work promoting the scenic
roadway.


F.B.I. HALTS ITs INVESTIGATION INTO HIGHWAYMEN M.C.
F.B.I.halted on its acusation and arrests of Highwaymen M.C in
Michigan
Michigan - More than two years after the FBI launched a crackdown on
the Highwaymen Motorcycle Club, five alleged mem bers who were locked
up awaiting trial on drug conspiracy and other charges are back on
the streets.

A much larger Highwaymen indictment, one that was to involve 100 or
more defendants which was promised more than a year ago by federal
prosecutors, has yet to materialize.

"I don't think they have enough to make this case roll," Randy "Tru
Story" Ferguson, a national officer with the Highwaymen in Detroit
who is not a defendant in the case, said Tuesday. "That's why they've
delayed it, delayed it, delayed it."

The government rejects suggestions the case against the homegrown
club -- allegedly Detroit's largest outlaw motorcycle gang -- is
unraveling.

"The reason for the delay is that agents have been discovering more
and more offenses, which have resulted in multijurisdictional
investigations," Assistant U.S. Attorney Diane Marion, the lead
prosecutor on the case, said through a spokeswoman.

Though mostly cocaine and marijuana trafficking charges have been
filed to date, the case involves allegations of murder for hire,
police corruption, interstate theft, and mortgage and insurance
fraud, according to court records and interviews.

"Justice is supposed to be expedient," he said. "We lost a lot of
people that used to come down and support us because they don't want
to come down under that pall of suspicion."



FREDERICK MARYLAND HARLEY DAVIDSON LEADS THE PROCCSESSION OF
INAUGURATION

Frederick Harley lead the parade watched around the world.
January 20 was inauguration day for President-Elect Barack Obama. The
week of festivities will include the Presidential Swearing-in
Ceremony, Inaugural Address and of course the Inaugural Parade.

The Frederick, MD Harley-Davidson dealership competed with others
across the nation to win the honor to provide
the 12 Harleys leading this inaugural parade through the streets of
Washington, D.C. as the world watches.

The factory bikes, sidecars, decals, lights arrived
in Frederick in October. Each motorcycle then takes about 40 hours of
work and special preparation. Multiply that by 12 motorcycles, and
480 hours of labor goes into the.price tag.

The cost of the entire contract was just under $300,000. It came out
to about $26,000 or $27,000 a vehicle. After the festivities
Washington, D.C. Metropolitan Police will use these "Presidential
Harleys" daily to patrol the city



NEW LAWS COMING INTO PLACE DUE TO THE HORRID CRIME OF TOSSING CANS OF
FISH.

WORSE THAN THE SMELL OF CHITLINS.. SWEDISH CANNED FISH CALLED
SURSTROMMING
Swedish cops probe flying fermented fish attack of Canned fish used
as a weapons, New laws will be enacted resulting in stiff
incarcerations. Rude awakening for surströmming grenade victim

Swedish police are probing a malodorous fermented flying fish
incident in which an open can of local delicacy surströmming was
launched through the bedroom window of a 52-year-old Motala man.


Sweden's "The Local" describes the incident as "breakfast in bed with
a cruel and unusual twist", and according to our correspondent Mike
Richards that pretty well sums it up, since he categorises the smell
of surströmming as akin to "composted gorgonzola in a Viking's
jockstrap".

The cops are treating the piscine projectile launch as "property
damage", and reckon they have a pretty good idea who was responsible.

For the record, surströmming comprises fermented Baltic herring which
are brewed "in-the-can", allowing bacteria to work their magic and
produce the distinctive odour.

The tins are apparently banned by some airlines, since they may pose
an explosive risk.

Mercifully, al-Qaeda is unlikely to avail itself of this
property to down aircraft because, according to Mike, you have to
be "clinically Swedish" to even look at a can of the stuff without
fainting of vomiting.



DEVIANT REPORTS
From the country that brings you all the internet scams.
NIGERIAN BIKERS WEARING VEGTABLES AS HELMETS.

Motorcyclists in Nigeria have been wearing dried pumpkin shells on
their heads to dodge new laws forcing them to wear helmets.

Officials in the northern city of Kano said they had stopped hundreds
people with "improvised helmets", following this month's introduction
of the helmet law. Road safety officials said the "melon heads" would
be prosecuted to the maximum law, which can reach as=2 0high as
public execution by fireing squad.

Menace
MAY I PLEASE HAVE A SQUASH.
Many of the biker ryders are trying on different vegatables as
helmets. Some use squash, mellons or even large peppers, But mostly
we see pumpkins being used. Some of the ryders have actualy hollowed
out the gourd of the pumpkin and carved eyes, nose and mouths onto
the item placeing it upon there heads.

Many drivers of the motorcycle taxis are furious over the new law,
which came into force on New Year's Day. They say passengers often
steal the helmets once they reach their destination.

ITS BAD JU-JU Stories have also appeared in the local papers
highlighting passengers' fears that the helmets are used by
motorcyclists to cast evil spells on their clients, making it easy
for them to be robbed, raped or murdered.

WE MUST KILL THE EVIL IN OUR HEADS
"Some people can put juju inside the helmets and when they are worn
the victim can either lose consciousness or be struck dumb,"
passenger Kolawole Aremu told the Daily Trust newspaper. " It happend
to my wife, she now suffers from loud yelling at me and the throwing
of my property into the street, all becuase she was forced to wear
this helmet, It is a curse I say". We must kill this evil before we
all become less.

More than 4,000 people die on Nigeria's roads every year and 20,000
are injured, according to the Federal Road Safety Commission.


MAGGOT REPORTS
New types of biker gangs on the rise in Eastern U.S . No codes of
behaviors noted.
THE USE OF SEMI AND FULL AUTO WEAPONS CONTINUE.
Baltimore,New York City, Philidelphia, Washington D.C.

BALTIMORE GOES UNDER ATTACK OF BIKERS CARRING FULL AUTO.
SWARMS OF DIRT BIKE RIDERS ATTACK THE CITY OF BALTIMORE IN CRIME
SPREES.


A swarm of dirt bikers terrorized Michele Rosenberg as she rode down
McCulloh Street, ramming her car with such relentlessness that she
and her husband drove directly to the Northwest police station, where
a sergeant said there was little he could do. All the while street
riders buzzing around the station taunting police.

The new gangs do not wear the traditional biker aparell, instead the
continuation of using scarves and specific color ball caps is the
sign now. But they are all carrying firearms.

Police say their options have been limited as they grapple with the
nagging problem of dirt bike gangs robber and killing in Baltimore.

The weapon most used is the reconditioned Glocks that are usually
stolen from the Glock factory in Baltimore.
There have been cases where the low end A.K.47 assualt weapons have
also been used.

It's too dangerous to chase them, they say. And while it is illegal
to drive the vehicles in the city, there have been few ways to crack
down on the young men who routinely ignore the rules, taunting law
enforcement and threatening residents .

So city leaders are turning to new tactics.
A law took effect last month that allows police to seize ANY and ALL
dirt bikes - in an alley, driveway, front yard or street. A court can
then order the bikes-forfeited, and they are later destroyed.

"The fact of the matter is that these dirt bikes drive people in
neighborhoods nuts," Police Commissioner Frederick H. Bealefeld III
said. "We're not talking about filling jails full of dirt biker
offenders. We'll seize the bike, and it is game over." Unless the use
of weapons is also in the mix.

Many of the gangs plan out attacks and robbies leaving the easily
hidden bikes in strategicly placed area around the Baltimore city.

" We know the reason they are parked where they are, We know the
reasong they are being used, Simply put it is easy crime get away
vehicle that no one can catch up to in large cities the size of
Baltimore.


ESCALATION OF CRIMES INVOLVING MOTORCYCLES AND AUTO WEAPONS CONTINUE
WASHINGTON D.C.
Use of weapons and motorcycles on rise.
The level of lawlessness is on the rise.. In April, a 19-year old man
was sentenced to a 45 year prison term, for firing his semi auto
weapon at city police officers who were trying to stop him from
riding his dirt bike in the 1300 block of Pennsylvania Avenue. [ Just
a short distance from the White House.]

The youth was racing at high speeds with his weapon over his shoulder
firing indiscriminantly at the ensueing police vehicles.

Occasionally, the police helicopter, Foxtrot, will follow bikers and
radio patrol officer to tell them where they are. "We are literally
keeping an eye on the person from the sky," said James H. Green, a
police department attorney.

When police do corner bikers, the young men often flee on foot,
leaving their machines behind. Police confiscate the bikes, but
owners had been getting them back by claiming someone else had been
the rider. The new law tries to address that problem.



BIKER GIANT ASSEMBLES AND GOES AGAINST STATE AND LOCAL GOVERNTMENT

HARLEY DAVIDSON STEPS UP TO THE PLATE AT MYRTLE BEACH SOUTH CAROLINA
Wednesday, January 21,2009
HARLEY DEALER SAYS "HELL NO" WE WONT GO.
Local Harley Dealer assembles, finances and sets up for a rebirth of
the Myrtle Beach run.

Myrtle Beach Harley-Davidson, the local Harley dealer there, sent out
a press release reminding everyone that just because the City of
Myrtle Beach passed some laws that would punish bikers for making a
peep in their town, those laws don't extend outside of the city. And
apparently, that's where the dealer is trying to move the event to.

"Many tourists wrongly believe that Myrtle Beach is synonymous with
the 60-mile-long 'Grand Strand' that is visited by more than 14
million tourists annually," said Mike Shank, marketing director for
Myrtle Beach Harley-Davidson. "In reality, the City of Myrtle Beach
is just a small town inside of Horry County. It only has 25,000
residents. To the north, south and west of Myrtle Beach is the much-
larger Grand Strand community where there are many restaurants, bars,
recreational facilities and accommodations. Horry County has more
than 250,000 residents and they are preparing their businesses to
welcome bikers."

Except now they're calling it "Cruisin' The Coast", and will take
place May 8-17, all along the Grand Strand, except for the Myrtle
Beach part. Here's the official website...
www.mbbikeweeks.com


MOTORCYCLEIST SPENDING HABITS IS VERY PREDICTABLE.
BIKER SPENDING.
SO, YOU THINK YOU ARE NOT PREDICTABLE, YOU THINK YOU ARE INDEPENDENT,
YOU THINK YOU ARE UNIQUE, GUESS AGAIN FOLKS, YOU ARE THE CASH COW.

Did you know that in occidental countries, the peak spending age is
around 47 years old and that the baby boomers median age (50% below,
50% above) is now 51 years old? Practically, the number of baby
boomers going down and the median age going up, it means that baby
boomers are less and less the biggest contributors to the economy.

In western countries, by the age of about 47, most people have
bought the biggest house they are likely to own, they are earning the
most they are likely to earn. Add to this the panic of knowing that
your retirement account has lost 40 to 50% during these last months
and you turn pre-retirees into savers more inclined to pay credit
card debts and pay-off their mortgages than spending on "dream-
fulfilling" motorcycles.

The days of "buy now pay later" are gone. So, what conclusion can we
make if baby boomers are no longer the engine-room of consumption?
Because of age and lack of financing the peak of the baggers trend is
now probably imminent (instead of 3 to 5 years away that I used to
predict).

We are going to see a slow deterioration of the numbers of units sold
proportional to the decline of the number of baby boomers. At the
same time trikes/sidecars sold are going to reach their highest
volume, but of course in a very "confidential" number because few
baggers are going to be replaced by this type of machines. The 2
following generations, named X & Y are going to peak in numbers
respectively in 10/12 years and 20/25 years.


I don't know the definitive answers, but the same way the economic
landscape has forever drastically changed, I am convinced that the
next factory motorcycle models are going to be radically different in
terms of design & technology. A complete rupture with what we see and
ride today. For custom motorcycles I have no worry. Personalization
being in the blood of each individual, completely new factory
motorcycles to re-design and improve are going to force and be the
catalyst for re-energized creativity. I am impatient to see and
experience...because I am a baby boomer.



THE SAGA OF BILLY LANE CONTINUES WITH D.U.I.

Two years ago, Billy Lane was charged with one count of DUI
manslaughter in connection with a Labor Day 2006 traffic accident in
which 56-year-old Sebastian Gerald Morelock died. Courts records show
that prosecutors have filed an additional second vehicular homicide
felony charge also punishable by up to 15 years in prison. DUI
manslaughter requires proof that the defendant caused or contributed
to the crash and had an unlawful blood-alcohol level. A vehicular
homicide simply requires proof of reckless driving. Prosecutor Tom
Brown states that the issue of admissibility of the blood evidence
will not be resolved until trial so he had to go ahead with the added
charge, This new charge ensures prosecutors to be able to proceed at
trial, no matter the judge's ruling on the blood evidence. Billy Lane
trial is set to begin February 9th.



FROM " SUNNY CALIFORNIA" THE LAND OF FRUIT AND NUTS
Out of beer,, no problem.. trade the kids in.
Trade the kids in for beer.
(01-12) 18:03 PST Greenfield, Calif. (AP) --
Police have arrested a Greenfield man for allegedly arranging to
sell his 14-year-old daughter into marriage in exchange for $16,000,
100 cases of beer and several cases of meat.
Police said they only learned of the deal after the 36-year-old man
went to them to get his daughter back because payment wasn't made as
promised. The man was arrested Sunday on suspicion of human
trafficking.
Officers also arrested an 18-year-old man on suspicion of statutory
rape. Investigators believe the girl went willingly with the man, but
she's under California's legal age of consent and can't legally marry.
Police say arranged marriages involving underage girls have become a
problem in this small Central Coast farming community.


Aussie bike racer dies after drinking seven cans of caffeine-
laced 'energy' drink
THE DEATH of a motorcycle racer in Australia, who drank seven cans of
an energy drink between races, has prompted a nationwide warning from
the Oz government about consuming the caffeine-laced beverages.
The rider has not yet been identified, and the government has not
named the brand of drink he used, but the statement said that each
can of drink could contain the same amount of caffeine as an
espresso.

The report in the Medical Journal of Australia, said: "The dangers of
caffeinated energy drinks should be highlighted and monitored for
future adverse events."



Dont shoot him, it will only make him mad at you. [ quote from
Blazzing Saddles.]


NEW YORK CITY BIKERS BAN TOGETHER.
Bikers rescue 180 kittens
Showing a softer side to bike clubs; When they heard that 180 kittens
were going to be made homeless (and possibly put down) as the New
York home they were in was going to close, a group of bikers stepped
in to rescue them.

Rescue Ink - a biker-led animal activist group whose motto is Coming
to an abuser near you has temporarily re-housed the kittens until
permanent homes can be found for them.

A spokesman said You take a look at us, We may be rescueing pussy
cats,, but that aint us as a species.

Bottom line, If we catch you ,, well you know what is going to
happen, and we like doing that more than rescueing animals.